Labels can be very useful for humans. We use labels to tell which products are toxic, use expiration labels on food with short lifetimes, and label our files to make them easier to find. However, when it comes to labeling ourselves and each other, we use these labels as limiting. We perceive that there are roles we must perform within these labels. As an entrepreneur, mom, and wife, there have been countless times I’ve become consumed with these perceived roles.

My husband and I have been married for 20 years (and 25 years together!). Even though the relationship I have with my husband is the strongest and healthiest relationship I have ever been in, I still find myself using him as an excuse to hold myself back, especially when it comes to my non-traditional, spiritually driven entrepreneurial business. When a new idea comes to mind, I often shrink at the idea of my husband disapproving. What if he thinks I’m crazy? What if this is too unconventional, too strange, too vulnerable?

This is something I have seen, and continue to see, in many of my clients. I found that I needed to ask myself the same question I ask my clients — why? Why are you afraid to tell him this? What is actually holding me back from expressing this idea? As I dove deeper into these questions, I found the answer. The more we look at our relationships with others, the more they become mirrors of ourselves. What I found was that the answer was right in front of me all along — I’m afraid of failing.

It’s much easier to hide behind people in our lives than admit we are afraid. This is because, somewhere along the way, we learned that fear is a sign of weakness, so we mustn’t show our fears if we want to survive. Our subconscious can’t tolerate the fear or possibility we are being threatened, so it flips it onto other people. We end up fearing others instead of the thing we are actually most afraid of — stepping into our own power.

As Marianne Williamson once said, “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our Light, not our Darkness, that most frightens us.”

As ironic as it may sound, fear is nothing to be afraid of. It’s actually a useful tool. The key is to not let the fear consume or paralyze us into a state of inaction.

So, how can we rewire this fear to become useful?

When we become fearful of going to our most trusted and safe people, this is often a cue we are beginning to lose trust in ourselves. In these times, it’s important to tune in with ourselves by taking a moment in stillness. Focus on your breath. Allow yourself to simply listen to Spirit and the voice coming from within. Observe what comes up and be careful not to judge anything. Judgment negates these practices. Simply observe, as if you were a scientist conducting an experiment.

Once we have observed this fear, we can start to find the source. Question your fears, and turn toward them rather than shrinking away. We begin to heal when we face our deepest shadows. The more we turn toward our fears, instead of rejecting them, the more we can truly tune into our deepest desires.

This is when we shift from a limited mindset to an expanded way of thinking. Once we begin to cultivate a connection to our Higher Selves and to the Universe, our potential becomes limitless. Even though the feeling of fear is inevitable, there is no need to live in a state of fear. Becoming our most authentic selves is all about being vulnerable and bold.

Use your fear as a guide for becoming your most raw and epic self!

However, the process can be incredibly uncomfortable to face, especially alone. Feel free to reach out to me HERE.

You can also follow the EFT Tapping video HERE to get started on learning to trust yourself again.