Unknown Speaker
Hello, everyone, and welcome back to another episode of the Akashic musings podcast. It's been a while, but I'm so excited because I am here with Katy white. And she is a very, very, very close soul sister of mine. And we are going to be doing an eight episode series that I'm super pumped about. And it's called catalyze your soul's deepest embodiment in the context of relationships. And we're going to tell you all about what the hell that means, and why we're talking about this. Welcome, Katie. Hello, thank you. I'm so excited. I'm welcoming you. But it's really silly, because this is really just together. So I'm gonna welcome you. Okay, the next step is welcoming you. Okay? So
Unknown Speaker
Katie and I have been friends for I don't know how many years years, and we have both experienced very, very similar journeys, in terms of just our, I guess, journey through relationships, not just intimate relationships, but family relationships, friendships, relationships with ourselves, relationships with our children, you name it. And we've expanded exponentially, and realized how much these relationships and whatever form are truly the gateway for our highest expansion and really like facing and confronting ourselves in ways that are like, Oh, God, right. And like, we hold each other through it. And we're really authentic. But we're also like, Listen, sister, I can see and feel the energy underneath what you're saying, you know, and kind of like, call each other out and invite each other into higher perspective. So we're here to kind of invite you in, we're going to invite you in to the same process that we've been through, which is why we have this very gorgeously organized, I'm so proud of us podcast series, with all sorts of really juicy topics on relationships. So Katie, where do you want to start? I really just love how you you just said right? The relationships are that portal to your most highest expansion, right? And, and you and I, let's go with our story. Because I feel like that really helps people understand, like, you and I were close at one point, right? And then all of a sudden, we just started ghosting each other because both of us were like in the deep fucking dark trenches of like, life just coming on done, right? And then all of the types of relationships that you explained right with our kids with our significant others, like just everything right? Everything's just started to feel like it was coming on done. And so you and I started to ghost each other because it was like that embarrassment, that shame. Like, I don't want her to see me this way. I don't want to rely on on her to help pull me out of here. Right. But I think you and I, at some point, I don't even remember how do you. I don't remember how this came up. But we ended up talking about how both of us had some of this avoidant energy within us, where like, we were both we both kind of go into hiding, like, I think we ended up connecting at one point and being like, why haven't we talked in like, six to eight months, like, I don't understand this. And I think it was this. But we then decided, at that point, let's hold each other accountable. You know, let's hold each other accountable to not fall into this state where we're like, you know,
Unknown Speaker
in shame, really, or really hiding from confronting parts of ourselves that wanted to come forward. And I think that both of us want it to feel fully seen and fully held in everything that was coming up without judgment without making it mean anything about who we are, but just be like, yeah, like you, I know who you are, because I feel who you are, I feel your heart. And like go not say whatever you'd like you're also human. And that's what I think is so important about the series that we're doing is like really addressing all of these layers, you know, yes, there's a very human part of you that you deeply need to honor in these experiences. But then there's also the invitation to more deeply know yourself, personally in this lifetime, but also transcendently with your soul. It that's so true. And kind of going back to what you said about being seen, right? Like it wasn't a part of that's a big part of it, right? Like we just wanted to be seen authentically as us and also be
Unknown Speaker
lovingly called out for the parts of us that we wanted to ignore and feel like, I feel like for us, it's a lot about like, I see you at the soul level, but let's help that ego move aside. Right? And, and that's how that that space gets created. That's how that expansion starts to open up. And because you and I have such very similar journeys where we're like, wait, you two?
Unknown Speaker
Oh, it's wild, right? That's where I feel like you and I mirror for each other and so
Unknown Speaker
If so often, right? Like, you'll be like, well, this is the I've been through this, and this is how it's transpired and vice versa, right? Like, we're able to use our experiences in our own healing to help the other. And it's like,
Unknown Speaker
I mean, that's our authentic self. It is like letting go of any type of competition or any type of like, those shameful embarrassment feelings, cuz you're like, No, you're not alone. I, I got you, I see you, I hold you. And let's, let's just like kibosh this thing and rise above it. Yeah, and I think that's where the soul sister connection is, I think that's where the soul connection is, that's so important, too, which is that like, regardless of what's going on, in your human, I see your soul and I have a deep unwavering belief in you. So when you lose belief in yourself, I'm holding it for you. And when I lose belief in myself, you're holding it for me. And yes, we can do this in multiple relationships. But it's really not only our relationship, but a couple other ones in my life have really brought me to this point where it's like, I'm available for relationships where I can't be all of me, like, you can't be in my close circle, if I can't be completely all of me all the messy parts, all the brilliant parts, right like, and to be able to just just feel who I am. And so that's a lot of what we're going to be talking about here in this series. And today, we want to talk about how other people are really our mirrors, you know, where Katie and I were just talking about how we're kind of mirroring for each other, but also any relationships that come into our lives, our mirrors and experiences, right. And so, um,
Unknown Speaker
they can activate us, right, I always say activate us because people like to use the word triggered. But the fact is, we get activated by everyone, and everything that comes into our field. And sometimes it's a great activation, it feels good. And sometimes the activation doesn't feel good. And it's taken full responsibility for how we are activated and somebody else's presence.
Unknown Speaker
I love that because it is really that ownership. And I think that's where you and I help. That's where that calling out type of vibe comes in, right? And it's like, own it. Like, just own it. And, and you and I have said so often that as soon as we own that emotion that we're feeling or that part of us that desperately wants to be seen, but we don't want to see it, we want to keep hiding it. But once we own it, that's where we move, that's where it just like starts moving the energy so much faster. And that growth happens because we're actually honest with ourselves, and allow ourselves to be seen by the other person. And in it, like when we feel like we can be safe enough to be seen with each other. I think that helps us see ourselves in a different because in a different way, because that's what reflects back to us again, right, that mirror is going constantly back and forth. Yeah, and I think that it's, um,
Unknown Speaker
I want to I want to put a little caveat in here too, just for people who feel like, well, I'm not in, I feel like I'm not connected to anyone right now. Right? Like, I feel like I'm not connected to anyone right now. And like, how do I do this. And that's really when we want to bring in that intimacy with self intimacy with parts of yourself, like with your inner child with your heart space, with your ego, whatever. And, and or intimacy with source with your higher power with God, whatever you want to call it, right. And I think that this same kind of exchange on reflection can occur there, the same kind of activation can occur there. Because the bottom line is anything that occurs in our lives, is handed to us by source everything. And don't get me wrong. There are times which is why we have relationships like mine, and Katie's where we get stuck in the human sauce. And I'm just like this mother fucker, right? And I'm just like, ready to lose it. And instead, it's like, okay, Laura, remember, we're not in a place of blame. We're not here to blame, like you call this in, right? Take responsibility. And that doesn't mean that there aren't things that are objectively quote unquote, wrong. There's a lot of people that will agree with you, oh, well, this person is really, really destructive and toxic to me, whatever. Okay. But you call that in for a reason why probably because you're being invited into your power, because you're being invited into to firmer and clear boundaries and to love and appreciate yourself even more and make yourself your top priority. And that's exactly how you get activated is by saying, Okay, I invited this in, what is this trying to teach me and be able to see it for the first time with like, clear eyes and saying, What do I want to do with it? Right? And I feel like that. I feel like part of like, why you and I go see each other was so that we could have that deeper connection with ourselves first. And that deeper connection with source? Because sometimes we have to shut out the external world, right, like although sometimes we do go into hiding. There's a lot of alchemy that happens within that, especially if it's it from a space where you're doing that deep connection, that deep inner work with yourself and with source right. And then it does get you to this place where you're like, well now I need an outside per
Unknown Speaker
perspective, right, I need somebody else to help me see what I can't see. Because we have our own blind spots all of us do, right. And that's why having these intimate relationships where you feel emotionally safe is so important. And I, part of it is like building your, your, not just the connection with yourself and with source and building that intuition, but finding the tool, the best way that that works for you how you get those messages, and I think is another big piece of it. Right. And that's where sometimes finding outlets and finding that community of those intimate connections is important because it helps you helps gets the wheel the wheel started. And I think that's what you and I did initially, when our relationship started, like the wheels had started turning, and then we did need a little bit of that space. And then it was like, But wait a minute, now I'm just hiding. So let me come back in right and have that.
Unknown Speaker
I love that, because it's having that discernment to know, like, yes, especially on the spiritual path, you need space you like, you definitely need space to be able to, like integrate this energy into, to shut out the noise of everything, to find your own truth, to clearly hear your own truth, but then to be really discerning about when that shifts into isolation, when that shifts into hiding, because the fact is, that's when spiritual bypassing can come up, because we were placed here on this planet as human beings, which means we are meant to learn in exchange and CO regulation with other human beings. Otherwise, we would have been put by ourselves on some random planet somewhere like I don't know, hanging out with dear, who knows. But it's like, you know, like, we're here with humans like we are meant to. And the fact is, and I tell people this all the time, like people are like, I was really, really connected with my intuition. But then all of a sudden, it just turned off, or I can't go deeper, this, that or the other, right. And it's because they're doing too much in their own head, they're doing too much in their own field. And it's like, it's time for you to get out, you got to share this with other people. Because it's not just about oh, you're reflecting my blind spots, which is one of the number one ways if not the number one way that our subconscious patterns get revealed to us. But it's so it's not just about that. But it's also it's also about that, when we share with other people, they are also activating our momentum, as well. So it's not just okay, like other people are showing me my blind spots and stuff. And that's why I need to share stuff. No, you actually get to a point in your personal growth in your spiritual journey, where when you share with other people, you are getting the reflection of your power back to you. And you're getting this like, oh, in sharing this, I'm putting the all of this energy in the stuff I'm bringing forward into a space between us. And there, it has its own momentum, its own space to become what it is. And it's that's how we create together in collaboration. And I, I love that because that's where we can use us. But that's where the love of the relationship that we have really sets not just you free, but it sets other people free. Right, it's that
Unknown Speaker
it's that piece where when you into and this is what you and I do all the time, right? Like we integrate it.
Unknown Speaker
And it becomes a part of who we are. Because we've been we've embodied right and deeply set ourselves free in this the parts of us that we didn't see, but then that reflection back for that other person and then to be able to share that out like hiding in those those kinds of spiritual closets, if you will, right of just, that's the shame part. And so if you can start to share that out, you can realize that you're not alone, right? That there's more people out there that feel that way. And that by doing your inner healing work, right, you're helping other people move through theirs. And that's how we can continue to leverage those relationships and create and honestly create a deeper level of intimacy. I feel like so many relationships in general right now are so surface level, because we don't give them the time and space to hold people in the promotion. You know, like, Hey, how are you? I'm good, thanks. How are you? Are you really good? Like when I ask how you are, I want to know how you are right like so I just feel like that's where it can start to open up some doors for people that once you become vulnerable and not in raw with yourself
Unknown Speaker
and get to that place of like stability within yourself, most likely in like a very intimate relationship like this. That's where you can take it to that next level and an offer an out and it changes everything. It does and I'll give you an example of that too. Is this so I remember having a conversation with my husband when we were kind of like transitioning away from codependency into a more sovereign relationship and connection.
Unknown Speaker
Where I remember we were talking one time, I can picture it perfectly in the kitchen. He was cooking shocker. He's Italian. And I'm standing there with him. And he was asking me what was going through my mind. And I said, I just feel like, you're judging me right now. And he's like, he starts to feel that defensive reaction come up, right? And he's just like, I'm not judging you. And I was like, Oh, I fully know you're not judging me. I'm saying that it feels to me. Like you're judging me right now. Which I'm taking responsibility for the fact that it feels to me like you're judging me right now. Because when I own that I'm able to recognize,
Unknown Speaker
really, if I didn't give a shit, if somebody judged me, why would that bother me? If I were super confident and super aligned in who I am, I know exactly where I'm going and what I'm doing. Go ahead, Judge me all you want. I don't give a shit. I I'm solid man. Right. And so I said, that's what we that's what Katie's talking about with kind of leveraging the relationship to like, let love set you free, which is like, I'm not putting it on him, that I feel like he's judging me. I'm owning that. And I remember when I first started going through this process of owning responsibility for everything that was coming up within me, and it felt like, oh, well, that's me like taking over responsibility and cautious caution here for people pleasers who can definitely take over responsibility in this area, right? Because you don't want to constantly be working on yourself and every frickin situation, because that's just you thinking you're not good enough. But in pattern things, right? What we want to do is just be like, Okay, well, yeah, I feel like you're judging me, which means that you are just being in Your presence is activating an awareness within me, that shows me where I have room to move more into my own confidence and sovereignty and solidarity. Because this actually has nothing to do with you. It has nothing to do with anyone, people, because people are just energy, just like anything else.
Unknown Speaker
So it doesn't make sense. It totally did. And as you were talking, I was like, that is something that you and I do. We're we're like, when those same things start to play over. We're like, wait a minute, we've done this before. And it's you and I like we are so much in the mind. Right. And I, I feel that that's a big thing. In so many people, like we just get caught up in playing these, these loops in our head. And
Unknown Speaker
that's where taking ownership of it, I think really starts to ascend you because you're like, wait a minute, alright, fine, let me own it. But why does that bother me? Right? Like, why do I feel like I'm being judged in your example, right? Like, why? Well, I'm not stepping into my power, right? Like, all of these things start to kind of come together. And again, just by simply owning it, that awareness comes in. And that's where you're like, Okay, I'm gonna move through it. And, like, I want to be in my power, right? I like that. And then I'm gonna move through it to is a very demonstrative, like, I trust myself, right? I trust that I can hold this. And, you know, you're talking about the why. And sometimes the y is going to be really obvious, and it's going to come up, and sometimes the y is going to come through journaling, and your own personal work, and sometimes the why doesn't fucking matter at all. Right? So sometimes it's like, I don't know why, but I know that this is activating something in me. Yeah, I feel it. And so instead of going into the mind, and really understanding why this is happening, sometimes I'm just with the feeling. And I'm like, Okay, I'm gonna let myself go into another room and just be with feeling judged. And let feeling judged, expand through my entire being, and recognize that it's an emotion, it's just energy, which means it's a wave, which means it's going to pass through the average emotions cycle link is 90 seconds. And the only reason it stays longer is because we latch on to it, we create a story that's attached to it, we have some kind of attachment to, you know, wanting this in our field for one reason or another. And so it's like, just be with the actual energy and let it build, let it show all of itself. Because guess what, that's a part of you. And if you're just dismissing it and saying go away, or like I want to understand this, well, maybe it doesn't want to be understood, maybe it just wants to, to be fully seen, and then release. And it's that decision point, right? It's the decision, it's deciding, let me just go feel this right and see it and witness it. And then and then after that process, it's again deciding for yourself, I'm going to have more faith in myself. And that's where that's, that's again, where that expansion starts to come and then we can be then you step back and you like, wait a minute, just by accepting and allowing that energy to flow and shift and detaching from those stories and just letting myself be seen.
Unknown Speaker
I I've just created so much more space. And that's where I feel like our relationship has grown even further because as we've done that process
Unknown Speaker
for ourselves, maybe some more like surface level stuff, not like super deep stuff with each other because we were still like, how much do I want to let her in? Right?
Unknown Speaker
Every time we've done that it's gotten deeper and deeper and deeper. Right? Yeah. And I think we're intimacy. 100 Thank you. That's exactly it is. That's what people don't realize, the more that you take this responsibility for what's coming up in you, the more intimate you become, because both people feel free. Because the other person, like when I had that conversation with my husband, and then I was like, no, no, like, this is all my shit. And I'm just like, processing this with you out loud. Because because I feel safe to do so. Right. But that gives him the freedom of having to quote unquote, carry it for me or with me or do anything about it, or have to fix it or, you know, anything like that. And what's funny is, I can't even tell you the number of times that I've said to you, like, I will tantrum for some sometimes for like a week about something. And I'm just like, Oh, I'm just I'm so pissed about this. And I have a right to be and done it and it up. And then when it finally hits me, and sometimes that's because my own work, or just because I've allowed myself to be with the emotion to feel it. Because, again, guys, we're humans, you're meant to be with this stuff. We're meant to experience polarity, the goal is not to get rid of emotions, you identify as negative, right? Like, it's not going to happen as a human on this planet. And so it's like, I get to move into that. And then as soon as that aha moment comes to me, and I realize what this was meant to catalyze in my own expansion. Literally, everything's immediately erased. I'm like, Oh, my God, it feels so much better that I'm the problem.
Unknown Speaker
It's so funny. It's so funny, because I'm just like, yes. Oh, and I think it sets me so free, because it takes so much pressure off of everything else. And it makes me feel like anything, that's all that's completely mine. My body knows what to do with my soul knows what to do with my energy knows what to do with. And then I get to see more of me, I get to become more authentic, I get to become more intimate with myself. And then we both feel free.
Unknown Speaker
I love that so much. Because how many times have we like messaged one person, and then a couple hours later be like, nevermind, I'm fine.
Unknown Speaker
And it's because that powerful space is held in the intention, one of the one of the intentions of our relationship is just a whole lot of faith in each other. Right? And so by having that energetic container that that space between us our relationship, yeah, we can do exactly that. Be like, bring all the awareness, bring it all forward, bring it all out, right, get it out, move it out of our body, allow our body just to trust and, and trust ourselves that like, Okay, I just need to put this in a space. And then like, literally sometimes, a moment later, we're like, Okay, nevermind, I'm fine. Or, you know, it's not like, nevermind, that's such a good point. Right? Like, it doesn't need to be this long discussion. And I tell my clients that all the time, like, Listen, if you're in shame, or if you're in a place, like, literally just connect, like, literally just reach out and be like, Hi, you don't have to share all the deep depths of what you're in all the time. But it's the anchor of, I know, this person's got me that I do that all the time, or I'll drop messages and just be like, I don't even need any reflection on this. I just need a place to put it like you were saying and like, it's just so nice to know that there's a place where we can always be held. And yes, that's always there with spirit, but it's not as tangible. Because the feminine is. Yeah, we need the CO regulation. Our nervous systems are literally wired for it.
Unknown Speaker
Yeah, so yay. Is there anything else we want to talk about? Before we move on? I think that we covered everything for today. Yeah, it feels complete. Yeah. And so next episode, stay tuned. We're going to be doing these once a week. Next episode is going to be on normalcy and relationships like, what? What does it look like? What does it feel like? How do we define normalcy in relationships, and I'm excited, I'm excited about every single one of these episodes. So just stay with us and really share this out to people that you feel could really benefit from these kinds of just really raw and genuine conversations. And if you want to get in touch with either of us, you can check out the show notes to reach out to us individually or check out the fabulous and amazing retreat that we are going to be hosting in September of 2024. And it's called to be well loved. And we're going to be deep diving into all of these topics, even more intimately and tangibly and in community which offers that sense of anchoring and belonging. And yeah, it's just so yummy. So thank you.
Unknown Speaker
Oh my god, thank you so much. All right. We will see you all next week. Have a fabulous one. Bye.
Transcribed by https://otter.ai
